Is the existence of friendship between a Man and a Woman still a confusion?

When two people come closer, there is a certain energy level coming close. Unlike the l By,
Sowmya H Reddyaw of physics, where like energies attract and unlike repel, human relationships are not that straight and simple. Though all relationships are bonded by this energy levels, what we call in layman terms as common interests or thinking, the relationship between a man and a woman is overseen by the chemistry of the Human body. The relationship between a man and a woman can be based on emotional, intellectual and physical. But the hormones that spurt after a certain age changes their perception of the mankind that seeks fulfillment through the involvement of through bodies.

We are in an age where the term “I am in a relationship” is unanimously considered as a man and a woman seeking each other for marriage. But, the relationship between a sister and brother, cousins, mother, and son fall apart, even though these relations are also being twined between the same human beings.

Talking on those same terms, why do all relationships apart from the ones that exist through families, transcend to a physical fulfillment? If physical intimacy finds completeness, then why do love marriages sometimes fail and sometimes arranged marriages last long?

A sex-worker turned writer Nalini Jameela, in her book “The Autobiography of a sex-worker” mentions that there were many instances where she was approached by men who paid her only to talk to them and for no other favors.

So, does it mean that the friendship with a man and woman (outside our families) can only exist when they do not identify themselves with their body but with their thoughts and mere existence as a whole human being. Because the intimacy shared between two people living miles away or not sharing a physical affair led by their hormones can be 100 times deeper than that is shared while living with a person for years. Though this is a great possibility when the friendship exists between 2 people of the same gender, how true and hard is it to accept and sustain such a relationship between a man and a woman?

The friendship between a man and woman is not a celebrated topic in Cinemas because this relation ultimately boils down to love and then marriage. One of the reason could be that our society is also driven to seek more from such a relationship and fail to understand when presented in a film. Or, that we cannot see a man or woman have a relationship outside a marriage which is not built to seek a physical mate but for the joy of having a man/woman in your life.

There are very few films that have addressed this gentle friendship where some have been convincing and others not.

While Idduru Mitrulu showcased how Chiranjeevi and Sakshi Shivanand’s relation could not be accepted by his wife Ramya Krishna and Sakshi’s husband Suresh just the way it happens in reality. Vasantham (Tamil version Priyamaana Thozhi) had Venkatesh’s spouse Aarti Agarwal and Kalyani’s spouse Akash accept the friendship between Venkatesh and Julie, while Akash’s family not accepting it. Which is similar to how our society does not see this as a strong bond in spite of the dear ones accepting it.

Another instance of a more mature relationship and their confusion to not to give it a special name was in Ganesh which had Madhoo (Madhubala) and Venkatesh impressing each other time and again yet holding a respectable space in each other’s hearts.

One generation ahead, “Oh my friend” showcased the love between two friends (a man and a woman) and their genuine intentions were tested time and again and even after years they proved that marriage is not the destiny of the friendship between a man and woman.

Generally, such relationships are appreciated and welcomed when this happens between a gang of friends but not when the film concentrates solely on a pair. Having said that, the friendship and sacrifices that happen as a love triangle, or between a man and man is more watched out and appreciated than when we put a man and a woman together.

Think about it.

While you still understand this, we will have a look at a different kind of friendship in our next article lined up for celebrating friendship day.

Sowmya H Reddy

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